Obesity: An Epidemic

Do you or someone you love have an eating disorder?  I don't care if you're too skinny, you don't gross me out.  It's the fattys that make me want to throw up.   Ever stop to think about what you are putting in your mouth?  I mean, is it that hard to NOT eat that extra box of cookies, or bag of potato chips?  Take the fork out of your mouth for gods sake.  Eat a salad, and I don't mean with caesar dressing either, that just an illusion of a healthy meal then.   Go for a walk, get some exercise. 
In our little office, we have someone who is obviously trying to kill himself with food.  At first I thought, to each his own, but really, I have to look at him, and if it's near my lunchtime, I lose my appetite (not such a bad thing).  And my significant other seems to be on the same pee schedule as this guy and has to listen to him grunting in the stall (he can't use the urinal).  We are trying to figure out how the hell this guy even wipes himself.   Or maybe he doesn't?
End result of our discussion today, if you are grossly overweight, you should probably just kill yourself now so you stop making every one elses insurance skyrocket.

Beating your kids: the right way to do it

There's been a lot of discussion about this in our little office.  We feel that kids are way too spoiled these days.  Whatever happened to the fine days of beating the hell out of your children to teach them a lesson?  Kids get away with way more than we did, they're too soft, and we're just jealous. 

Final outcome of our conversation: striking the fear of God into your kids, good.  Causing bleeding, not good.   Using kitchen utensils, good, unless it weighs more than a rolling pin.  Standing in the corner, good.  Blunt end of knife, very good, especially if you scare them into thinking you might use the other end.
Final verdict - please people, BEAT YOUR KIDS, for the future of our country.